Jamie Condliffe | gizmodo.com

We’ve all misplaced our cell phone and spent what seems like hours searching for it—but some people take losing handsets to a whole new level. Chances are, you’ve never lost a phone as impressively as the people that feature in these stories.

A UK-based mobile phone insurance company has released a list of its most amusing lost-phone claims from the last twelve months. Complete and utter marketing bullshit, sure, but you don’t need to worry about buying insurance from them, and they’re too funny to ignore. Just read how dumb some of its customers are:

A builder in his 30s from Stockport reported his phone as lost, but later called to withdraw the phone after a customer got in touch with his firm to say that they’d heard a phone ringing inside the wall of their new extension. He’d left it inside the wall cavity, and the customer was kind enough to let him remove the phone and patch the wall up.

A farmer in his 50s found his mobile phone embedded in the edge of a hay bale. Despite being somewhat damaged, the handset still worked.

A 19-year-old woman from Birmingham informed mobileinsurance.co.uk that the lost phone she’d earlier reported had turned up in her fridge, next to the milk on the middle shelf.

A man in his 50s from York, who happened to be a keen gardener, found his mobile phone that he’d originally reported as ‘lost’ beneath the soil in one of the flower beds in his front garden. The phone was undamaged, if a little dirty.

A man in his early 30s found his ‘lost’ mobile phone in the corner of his young son’s hamster cage, beneath the sawdust and explained that his son must have put it there without him noticing. It turned up when he went to clean out the cage.

A man in his 20s found his iPhone under the bonnet of his car, realising that he must have left it there when he was topping up his screen wash. Despite driving around for days afterwards, the phone remained in place under the hood of the car and didn’t fall out onto the road.

A lady in her 30s from Cambridge who had reported her phone as lost later withdrew the claim, after she received a message on her landline from her local library to say that they had discovered the phone sandwiched between two books in the non-fiction section.

A woman in Plymouth found her ‘lost’ mobile phone 1 week after first reporting it when she went back to her local petrol station to fill up her car. The handset was sat on top of the fuel pump, exactly where she’d left it without realising, tucked behind a promotional leaflet.

A 40-year-old man from Liverpool didn’t realise that his lost phone was inside his toilet cistern until he lifted it off to drop a cistern cleaning block inside and seeing it submerged in water. He didn’t know how it had got there, and the phone was water damaged.

An undertaker from London reported his phone as lost, but called the next day to withdraw the claim after finding it inside a coffin, next to a body that was due to be buried shortly afterwards.

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