The dos and don’ts of office romance
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Narrator: Cupid’s arrows are flying, but what happens if they land in an office near you? In the past, workplace dating tended to be discouraged, but like it or not, it’s happening now.
A recent poll from CareerBuilder.com found that 40 percent of workers have dated a co-worker at some point in their career, and 18 percent have done it twice or more. Thirty-one percent of office paramours went on to marry the person they dated at work.
ILSTV asked Cynthia Good, the CEO and Founding Editor of LittlePinkBook.com about how to chart the waters of office romance while keeping your career intact.
Cynthia Good: It’s absolutely something that’s happening. There are workplace romances in most offices across the country and globally. I think people are working more today than we have in the past; you’re spending most of your time in the workplace, interacting with colleagues and those on your team, so it’s natural that relationships would develop. It’s really not a surprise that we’re seeing so much of this.
Workplace dating is less of a taboo today than it has been in the past. Still, office dating is frowned upon – and especially when it’s something that impacts others in the environment. If people are aware that this is going on, if it makes anybody feel uncomfortable, especially if it makes others feel that there is favourtism, then it is frowned upon. While you may have peer-to-peer dating situations that may be more accepted at your company, certainly the subordinate-to-employer or your boss and a lower level person, those sorts of relationships are potentially very dangerous and still result in a good percentage of the sexual harassment lawsuits and those sorts of legal problems, so that you definitely want to try to stay away from, even though it does happen.
Narrator: But if love does find you at work, discretion is key.
Cynthia Good: When you’re on the job, you’ve got to keep it professional. You’re there to work; you’re not there for any other reason. You’ve got to remember that in this day and age, employers are monitoring employee emails. More than half of all employers are now monitoring the company emails, so you’ve got to be sensitive and know that it’s not appropriate to be having private, romantic conversations during company hours, using company phones and email – all of that can be trackable by the employer and that’s really often times the case that can be made for terminating an employee.
Narrator: Cynthia says when it comes to office romances, there is one cardinal rule.
Cynthia Good: Well, without a doubt, 100 percent: no means no. That’s when it gets ugly and when problems occur. It’s great when everything’s going perfectly and actually, there are those who believe that if you’re in love – certainly in love with what you do – but if you have this romance, you may even be more motivated and be a better worker. But there are problems that arise if the romance goes sour. Pressuring a coworker for romance after he or she has said no actually violates Title 7 of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It’s illegal to engage in unwanted sexual behavior at work. That’s where you absolutely draw the line. And it’s not appropriate to take advantage of unequal power. If somebody ever feels like they’re in a position where part of that romantic involvement has to do with a superior and is tied, in anyway, to advancement, that’s when you get into big trouble and that’s where companies are really going to be held liable.
