National Post

ABBOTSFORD, B.C. — A drunk driver in Abbotsford, B.C., is getting no sympathy for a belated decision to pocket his car keys and grab a cab.

Abbotsford Police say the suspect pulled his vehicle over beside what he thought was a taxi, jumped in and muttered “get me outta here buddy, cops are everywhere tonight.”

Turns out the taxi was actually an idling police car, and the officer wasted no time in taking the man directly to jail.

In a tweet, Abbotsford Police put the man’s gaffe at the top of their latest list of excuses heard by officers handing out tickets in the Fraser Valley jurisdiction.

Other excuses on the list:

• The driver who admitted to speeding because of bothersome hemorrhoids, prompting the officer’s tongue-in-cheek apology for making the motorist sit even longer.

• A driver pulled over for not properly clearing an icy window said “I wasn’t trying to see the whole road, just the part I was using.”

• A shirtless, motorcycle-riding speeder wearing a bicycle helmet and Crocs told the police it was too hot for anything else

The list of bad-driver excuses was viewed 16,000 times by Tuesday, when it was posted on social media as part of the Abbotsford Police Departments bid to raise road safety awareness.

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